Here are some thoughts I forgot to publish on my birthday last month. I maybe thought this rant was going to have more thoughts and be better formed, but never mind that. So, here’s what I was thinking about on my birthday.
Today is my 28th birthday. I am conflicted, because I know I should use this day to mark how grateful I am for my life and those in it. However, I find myself trying to ignore the fact it’s my birthday because it’s been too many years since I enjoyed it.
The excitement and exhaustion, the privilege and perseverance, the strength and stress.
I used to be bedridden. Then housebound became the best way to describe my tolerated level of activity. Now I tell people that I need to rest a lot, because bedridden and housebound don’t properly describe my state any more. I’m very grateful for this progress.
But I can be grateful for the progress I’ve made and be impatient to improve quicker. Human emotions are weird swirling clouds of conflict for our brains to contend with. Or something.
Keep calm and bullshit on.