One Year Down

One year down, the rest of my natural life to go. It has for the most part been literally, one year down. One year fighting my body for the privileges I absolutely took for granted. Walking, dancing, being pain-free. A year ago I suffered a relatively minor knee sprain, working at a Stampede party tent. The acute injury became a chronic pain cycle, that seemed to be livable until it really wasn’t. My physical decline became steady, as my peers and professors watched me [insert mobility aid here]’d to class, and watched my personality dampen at times, due to the pain. On November 6, 2015, I reached a level of pain I could not fathom, nor control. I went to the local Emergency, and that was the last day I attended university in 2015. My last class was a Molecular Genetics lab, with some wonderful people…

I have learned two very important things in the last year. One seems inextricably linked to the other.

I should trust myself, and trust my body. I thought something felt very off, even from the beginning. I was constantly told that everything was normal, I was going to be fine. It was all my anxieties going around in my head. There was something wrong, and I was the only one seeking to identify it before it took more than a knee from me. This doesn’t mean that I will discover a whacky disease in my body every time I feel “off”. However, I owe it to myself to process the sensory information my brain receives, using every bit of knowledge I have.

In the same breath, I realized that I am very fortunate, and very lucky. I could not be better equipped for this lifelong battle. I have an amazing support system in my immediate family, I really cherish their ongoing presence in my life. I have been gifted with a brain always clamoring for more knowledge, one always looking for a logical explanation. My cognitive ability has been affected by this disease, but I am happy to say my decrease is minor. I hope one day my brain will do the near impossible, and contribute to the cure for my disease. I also met a wonderful woman I can call my friend, peer, and mentor early on in my diagnosis. Further luck was her starting a support group for people like us with CRPS. We meet every month and it is so important to hear everyone’s stories. I finally have a wonderful doctor on board, whom I trust. I can’t forget that I also have been blessed with experience, 3 years of chronic pain in high school. It’s not my first rodeo, and I’m not an amateur any more.

I am also one of the most stubborn people I know, and I will prevail over my challenges. No matter how long it takes, and how much energy it gets out of me.

It’s not my first rodeo, and I’m a professional now.